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Upset Parents

I occasionally have upset parents. Knock on wood, I haven't had very many, but I found this and thought it would be worth remembering! Conferences are tomorrow and while I always hope the parents will understand where I'm coming from and that I'm doing my best, different opinions, disagreements, and misunderstandings can always come up.

To deal with an upset parent, the most important thing you can do is diffuse their anger as soon as possible. This is the strategy that worked for me when I was in the classroom. Once I ascertained that the parent was upset (doesn't take long), my first statement was, "I wish I had more parents like you." This stops them in their tracks since they are expecting you to disagree, defend yourself, or even question their motives. I go on to explain that I wish I had more parents like them who cared enough about their child to come to school (or call) about their concerns. It's amazing how this simple and true statement works like a charm. You may not agree with their assessment but it is true that they care about their child. They are then more likely to engage in a calm discussion with you about their child.
May Ryan
A PAR consulting teacher in California

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