1. Two days ago a student posted a tweet during my class that said, "F*** off, Mrs. Evens!" By chance, another teacher saw it and showed it to me. I had just gotten done telling this student to get to work on his homework which he had sitting on his desk but hadn't touched...
My initial response: There should be a consequence. This kid should get in trouble. He's a jerk! How dare he say something like that to a teacher that he should respect! Especially when I'm just trying to hold him accountable to my high standards and expectations of working hard! I may have been a little sarcastic with him, but I was just holding him to my same expectations as everybody else!
I emailed the principal the tweet, and asked if she could do anything disciplinary wise. There wasn't anything she could do, but she has had some other dealings with this students and so after some discussion, I decided I should start by just talking to him about it. This changed my perspective a little bit. Do I think it was disrespectful and an incredibly stupid thing to do on his part? Absolutely. However, he is a person. He had had a terrible day and it was 10 minutes until the end of the entire school day. He is the kind of student that has had issues with drugs, the law, bad friends, bad influences, and bad role models. I still think he needs consequences. I'm glad I told him that I was disappointed and hurt by what he said (although I don't take it personally at all), and I'm glad we were able to talk about why that wasn't a good idea. I sort of felt like I had "tattled" because he seemed to respect that I called him out on it face-to-face. He was very polite. I still think it was wrong. I still think he should never do it again. Hopefully now that he knows we can see everything they say, he won't! But it made me think that I can do a better job or addressing issues with students first to gain perspective. I was in the wrong by jumping to conclusions and not even being willing to hear what he had to say. What he did was definitely still wrong, but I feel like I understand him as a person a little bit better.
2. I have a student I've been struggling with all year. He's a pain in the butt most days... I have learned that the best way to handle him is to be as kind to him as I possibly can because the second he sees me respond to him with frustration or raising my voice or sarcasm, it just gets worse. I still feel like I have to constantly babysit him, but today he served a detention for me after coming late to class 3 days in a row. First he helped me organize the room a bit. While we were moving desks and picking up paper scraps, he asked me about where I went to school. We started just chatting, and it's amazing how different a kid can be when you get them in a different environment. He wasn't making dinosaur noises to make the other students laugh. He was just sharing about his life. I learned that his dad hasn't been around much because he was in active duty when he was younger and is still gone for short periods of time to go to Washington DC. He sounded so proud of his dad, but it reminded me of how lucky I was to have married parents who always seemed to put their marriage first and a mom and dad who were both committed to each other and to us kids growing up. I'm not saying it's okay for this student to behave the way he does most days... It can be so frustrating to have just one or two students that can so drastically affect the whole classroom atmosphere. He has been hard to love, and after today, I feel like I see a completely different person when I look at this student. I don't see a trouble maker who wants to make my life miserable and who laughs behind my back. I see someone who's trying his best to impress the people who's opinion he cares most about. I see someone who's dealing with wondering if his dad is going to move in the next year and if he'll stay here or go with him. (He told me he wasn't sure if he was going to have to move 3 weeks ago because his dad's current position was in jeopardy.) That's stressful for a high school kid... That's stressful for anyone.
I feel like God has shown me in these two different cases that being more conscious of the lives outside of school that my students lead can help me be a better teacher. I joke about not being good at bonding, but this is really something I struggle with... I thank God for showing me the value in it, though, and I hope and pray that I will continue to get better at seeing more than just brains to fill with math. (Here's where I wonder if I should be a teacher forever since what I really want to do is just do math all day and not worry about feelings and babysitting... But God has me here at this point in my life, and I am going to do the best I can. After all... you usually learn and grow the most when you're outside your comfort zone, and talking to a student about why he cussed at me for the whole world to see was definitely uncomfortable for me...)
My initial response: There should be a consequence. This kid should get in trouble. He's a jerk! How dare he say something like that to a teacher that he should respect! Especially when I'm just trying to hold him accountable to my high standards and expectations of working hard! I may have been a little sarcastic with him, but I was just holding him to my same expectations as everybody else!
I emailed the principal the tweet, and asked if she could do anything disciplinary wise. There wasn't anything she could do, but she has had some other dealings with this students and so after some discussion, I decided I should start by just talking to him about it. This changed my perspective a little bit. Do I think it was disrespectful and an incredibly stupid thing to do on his part? Absolutely. However, he is a person. He had had a terrible day and it was 10 minutes until the end of the entire school day. He is the kind of student that has had issues with drugs, the law, bad friends, bad influences, and bad role models. I still think he needs consequences. I'm glad I told him that I was disappointed and hurt by what he said (although I don't take it personally at all), and I'm glad we were able to talk about why that wasn't a good idea. I sort of felt like I had "tattled" because he seemed to respect that I called him out on it face-to-face. He was very polite. I still think it was wrong. I still think he should never do it again. Hopefully now that he knows we can see everything they say, he won't! But it made me think that I can do a better job or addressing issues with students first to gain perspective. I was in the wrong by jumping to conclusions and not even being willing to hear what he had to say. What he did was definitely still wrong, but I feel like I understand him as a person a little bit better.
2. I have a student I've been struggling with all year. He's a pain in the butt most days... I have learned that the best way to handle him is to be as kind to him as I possibly can because the second he sees me respond to him with frustration or raising my voice or sarcasm, it just gets worse. I still feel like I have to constantly babysit him, but today he served a detention for me after coming late to class 3 days in a row. First he helped me organize the room a bit. While we were moving desks and picking up paper scraps, he asked me about where I went to school. We started just chatting, and it's amazing how different a kid can be when you get them in a different environment. He wasn't making dinosaur noises to make the other students laugh. He was just sharing about his life. I learned that his dad hasn't been around much because he was in active duty when he was younger and is still gone for short periods of time to go to Washington DC. He sounded so proud of his dad, but it reminded me of how lucky I was to have married parents who always seemed to put their marriage first and a mom and dad who were both committed to each other and to us kids growing up. I'm not saying it's okay for this student to behave the way he does most days... It can be so frustrating to have just one or two students that can so drastically affect the whole classroom atmosphere. He has been hard to love, and after today, I feel like I see a completely different person when I look at this student. I don't see a trouble maker who wants to make my life miserable and who laughs behind my back. I see someone who's trying his best to impress the people who's opinion he cares most about. I see someone who's dealing with wondering if his dad is going to move in the next year and if he'll stay here or go with him. (He told me he wasn't sure if he was going to have to move 3 weeks ago because his dad's current position was in jeopardy.) That's stressful for a high school kid... That's stressful for anyone.
I feel like God has shown me in these two different cases that being more conscious of the lives outside of school that my students lead can help me be a better teacher. I joke about not being good at bonding, but this is really something I struggle with... I thank God for showing me the value in it, though, and I hope and pray that I will continue to get better at seeing more than just brains to fill with math. (Here's where I wonder if I should be a teacher forever since what I really want to do is just do math all day and not worry about feelings and babysitting... But God has me here at this point in my life, and I am going to do the best I can. After all... you usually learn and grow the most when you're outside your comfort zone, and talking to a student about why he cussed at me for the whole world to see was definitely uncomfortable for me...)
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