My body literally feels heavy at the end of this week with the weight of my imperfections.
I read a blog recently (I wish I had the link to put here) about the hardest part of being a teacher. This blogger said it's not the hard work or the low pay or the grading or the difficult students. The hardest part about being a teacher is never having enough.
I am inclined to agree. Here are just two of the things I don't physically have enough of:
1. Time (to grade, plan, differentiate, collaborate, research, create, clean...)
I do all of the above things, but not to my satisfaction. My grading, planning, differentiating, collaborating, researching, and creating are never done the best they could be. In fact, not one thing on that list is done the way it really should be... But I only have so much time. I know how I want them to be done, but there isn't much more frustrating than being forced to do a job you're not 100% totally proud of.
2. Uumph...
This is the word I use to describe my bowling technique to people. I can't get the ball down to the pins with enough "uumph" to do well unless I replicate the Fred Flinstone running approach. The 3-step technique just doesn't do it for me. I feel like I don't have enough "uumph" right now to metaphorically get the ball to knock down more than a pin or 2. I can see what I could do differently to have a more positive affect, but I physically don't know where I would muster any more "uumph" to get it done.
Thank goodness I identified my perfection paralysis and can at least do something in the face of not being able to do it perfectly. I can't call all the parents that I want to, but I called the one that I felt was highest on my priority list. I don't have lessons ready to go for Monday in Algebra 1, but I have an outline for the week to start from. I have a plan to differentiate in one class next week if not in every class.
Thank goodness Jesus knows exactly how I am, and he knows what I'm thinking and feeling. Thank goodness that I know him and trust that he will make sure I have enough of everything I need to do what he needs me to do. It always comes back to Jesus. The things I think are so important pale in comparison to the truth about Jesus. I put the weight of my shortcomings on myself, but Jesus can take it away and replace it with the weight of his goodness and truth. (And that is a good weight!)
Jesus can give me more uumph when my store is running low. He can also give me the wisdom to know where and how to spend the time I do have. And just to keep the bowling analogy going, I might have a pin that just will not go down, and it may fall in the futurte because of something happening now that I don't even realize. But God sees all of that.
One of the highlights of this week:
One student was complaining at an after-school study session about how hard the problems were. He would say things like, "Can't you just tell me it's right?!" Another student got defensive and said, "Hey, Mrs. Evans is one of the best teachers in this school. I'm not kidding. I look forward to 6th period every day." He said it with such sincerity that it warmed my heart : )
I read a blog recently (I wish I had the link to put here) about the hardest part of being a teacher. This blogger said it's not the hard work or the low pay or the grading or the difficult students. The hardest part about being a teacher is never having enough.
I am inclined to agree. Here are just two of the things I don't physically have enough of:
1. Time (to grade, plan, differentiate, collaborate, research, create, clean...)
I do all of the above things, but not to my satisfaction. My grading, planning, differentiating, collaborating, researching, and creating are never done the best they could be. In fact, not one thing on that list is done the way it really should be... But I only have so much time. I know how I want them to be done, but there isn't much more frustrating than being forced to do a job you're not 100% totally proud of.
2. Uumph...
This is the word I use to describe my bowling technique to people. I can't get the ball down to the pins with enough "uumph" to do well unless I replicate the Fred Flinstone running approach. The 3-step technique just doesn't do it for me. I feel like I don't have enough "uumph" right now to metaphorically get the ball to knock down more than a pin or 2. I can see what I could do differently to have a more positive affect, but I physically don't know where I would muster any more "uumph" to get it done.
Thank goodness I identified my perfection paralysis and can at least do something in the face of not being able to do it perfectly. I can't call all the parents that I want to, but I called the one that I felt was highest on my priority list. I don't have lessons ready to go for Monday in Algebra 1, but I have an outline for the week to start from. I have a plan to differentiate in one class next week if not in every class.
Thank goodness Jesus knows exactly how I am, and he knows what I'm thinking and feeling. Thank goodness that I know him and trust that he will make sure I have enough of everything I need to do what he needs me to do. It always comes back to Jesus. The things I think are so important pale in comparison to the truth about Jesus. I put the weight of my shortcomings on myself, but Jesus can take it away and replace it with the weight of his goodness and truth. (And that is a good weight!)
Jesus can give me more uumph when my store is running low. He can also give me the wisdom to know where and how to spend the time I do have. And just to keep the bowling analogy going, I might have a pin that just will not go down, and it may fall in the futurte because of something happening now that I don't even realize. But God sees all of that.
One of the highlights of this week:
One student was complaining at an after-school study session about how hard the problems were. He would say things like, "Can't you just tell me it's right?!" Another student got defensive and said, "Hey, Mrs. Evans is one of the best teachers in this school. I'm not kidding. I look forward to 6th period every day." He said it with such sincerity that it warmed my heart : )
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