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My "Psalm"

There's a message in my brain that needs to be organized. Hopefully writing will help me to accomplish that.

29 people are dead this morning because two men took it upon themselves to open fire in public places.

I believe at least 3 more are dead after a car accident in which a truck driver took it upon himself to speed and ignore red lights. This comes exactly one week before the date when my best childhood friend Karen Linder died in a car accident.


When something doesn't make sense, what is your response?

The guys in Psalms asked God about things that didn't make sense all the time. They would ask how long they would have to endure such pain and hardship. They would ask why he was allowing so many bad things to happen to them. They often asked why those who were full of pride, sin, selfishness, idolatry, and who did not fear or love or respect God seemed to have all the success and comfort.

So here is my prayer to God.

God,

I know in my mind and believe that you created the world and everything in it. 

I have seen evidence of your love in the thousands of ways that you have protected me and taken care of me, but when I see so many people killed because of the hateful actions of a random stranger, I wonder why you didn't save those people. 

In my mind I know the answer to my own question. 
I know you allow free will.
I know you have appointed a time when you will return to destroy evil.
Were all the people that were murdered your children?

In the New Testament, you say that everyone has a new responsibility to the law and to do right once they know the law. You are able to keep track of every second of every life, and you already knew when these 32 lives would end. You love each of these people, and you gave them everything they needed to make the decision to accept your gift of forgiveness and salvation or not. 

Since you are free from time, God, please go back and give them one more chance to choose you if they hadn't already. Please change the past to put one more experience in the lives of those who died without having chosen you. Please remind me to be that experience whenever possible because the battle of good and evil never sleeps, and this life and world is unpredictable. 

Help me to love like you love.
Thank you for creating me exactly as I am to think, process, and feel like I do.
Thank you for the people that run toward danger to protect others. Please give extra protection to all the police officers who expect danger each day when they go to work. 
Please come quickly. 

Thank you for promising that all things work together for good for those who love you. 
Thank you for promising that you will never leave us or forsake us.
Thank you for promising eternal life in a place with no more pain or sorrow for those who accept it. 
Thank you for promising to come back to this broken world to set up your perfect kingdom. 
Please let me see these promises clearly in my life. 

God of justice, God of mercy, God of the humble, God of the weak, be just with those who have had every chance and have chosen evil, be merciful with those who think they don't deserve you and don't realize that no one deserves you but nothing is too terrible for your forgiveness, let the humble inherit a version of this world without mass shooters and maniac drivers, and give strength to the families and friends who just lost the most important person in the world to them. 

When Karen died, I felt sadness, but I also knew that God had richly blessed her life, and her death meant she was in Heaven while I was still on earth. I recognized that my sadness was a selfish (although reasonable) sadness. God used that tragedy to save so many lives. More than ten years later, people are still affected by knowing Karen and by her story.

The events of the last day are horrific. The only answer is Jesus, and I already know that not everyone is going to accept him. That means there will be sin and brokenness until the day he returns. I take heart and remind my soul not to be downcast within me because I know that God has already overcome and I will put my hope in him because he is my savior, and I will praise him.


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