Tonight I'm thinking about the unique way that God has created me.
I have been a math teacher. That has been my only career until being a coach these last 3 years. I've continued to be a math teacher while coaching. God created me with a deep love of learning. Mathematics is a bunch of well defined rules that give us an incredible playground of puzzles. I became a teacher because I wanted to do mathematics and work with people. I would never have become a teacher of any other subject. I get that you can learn in Science and Social Studies and English, so why do I love math so much?
I love the definitions. Something is how we define it. I think of the stupid Neature Walk videos from high school... "It's called an aspen because that's what it is..." But really, the world operates a certain way, but in mathematics, the world exists in perfection in our minds. When we say something is a circle, we mean it is the set of all points equidistant from a center. Where does that exist in nature? And yet it can be created when we use the definition and it can exist in perfection in the world of mathematics.
When God said, "Let there be light," was he creating his world of perfection out of the nothingness that was before? Is our Earth like what would exist if a mathematician had the creation powers of God?
God helps us understand Himself by giving us hundreds of descriptors to help us get a more and more accurate definition of what it means for Him to be God. Creator, Everlasting God, I am, Merciful, Gracious, Slow to anger, Abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, Perfect, Just, Wise, Strong, All-knowing, Shepherd, Light, Salvation, Strong tower, Healer, All-present, Near, Helper, Living, Unchanging, Invisible, Love, King, ...
I could go on and on and on. The Bible is Christocentric meaning everything within points to Christ. So every single word of the Bible is like the longest, most thorough definition of God.
For my Masters, I had to take a course called Non Euclidean Geometry. I spent the first two weeks physically angry because I felt as though everything I'd ever learned about Geometry had been a lie. We learned that parallel lines can intersect, and that the definitions I had been using my whole life were not universally applicable. Once I was able to separate those definitions to a certain flat Euclidean world, I was able to begin embracing that new definitions create new mathematical playgrounds where we can discover what possibilities might exist.
While we can change how we choose to define things, it doesn't change what just is. There are always axioms that are agreed upon truths on which all other definitions can then be built. If you were to define something, and then try to define every word in that definition, and then define all the words you used to write every definition to define all the words in your original definition, at some point, you would have to agree on basic knowledge and understanding of some words. At least that is the analogy that helped me understand the need for axioms. So maybe God is more like an axiom. When we trust and accept Him and His words, then we have this immense freedom to explore within those truths.
God knit me together in my mother's womb. He made me on purpose. He made me this way on purpose.
God never said you have to have 100k followers. That's not part of his definition for pleasing Him.
God never said you have to a certain amount of money. God never said we should feel happy all the time. God never said we should be treated well all the time by everyone.
The Bible is full of words that define God's plan for our lives, define God's plan for salvation, define God's plan for eternity, and define his expectations for His children. I'm imagining my math textbooks with sections clearly titled and "Theorem 3.06" in bold and highlighted with a picture, example, and definition to go with followed by a few examples. The Bible may not be laid out that way, but it has all the same information. I recently read "Before You Open Your Bible: Nine Heart Postures for Approaching God's Word." The author talks about approaching the Bible prayerfully and studiously (among others). I've been intentionally praying before reading my Bible each night. I agree on the studious front, but haven't decided what exactly that should look like on a regular basis or even right now. Writing this blog post has given me an example of writing to learn. Processing connections between my life and what I've read in the Bible is a way for me to be a student of the Bible.
Are words good enough to define God? The more I read the Bible, the more I understand God. I also think the more I experience love and the more I pray and the more I worship God, the more I understand God. The Bible says that we see now as in a reflection. Everything will be made clear some day in Heaven, so I don't think anything accessible to us right now can give us a full definition of God. If He is THE axiom, then I think we will "get it" when we're in Heaven some day.
I've always felt like I love God more and understand his greatness more as I've expanded my knowledge in mathematics. He made me this way. I still don't know exactly why because this is just one piece of the puzzle that is me, but I know that it's intentional and the world can be better because of my love for mathematics, definition, and connecting those loves to Christ. And it isn't that I love that definitions. It's that I love what becomes possible and how fun it is to make sense of something within those constraints. (I hesitate to use the word, "constraint" because it can have a negative connotation.) That's like the Psalmist in Psalm 119:41-48 saying:
May your unfailing love come to me, Lord,your salvation, according to your promise;
42 then I can answer anyone who taunts me,
for I trust in your word.
43 Never take your word of truth from my mouth,
for I have put my hope in your laws.
44 I will always obey your law,
for ever and ever.
45 I will walk about in freedom,
for I have sought out your precepts.
46 I will speak of your statutes before kings
and will not be put to shame,
47 for I delight in your commands
because I love them.
48 I reach out for your commands, which I love,
that I may meditate on your decrees.
Does he really love the commands period, or does he love the freedom, hope, and confidence that comes from knowing them and living within those constraints?
I've probably said something here that exposes my ignorance in some way, but I know I will always be learning!
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